This is a tough thing to write about. We found out two weeks ago that Sanguine has Down’s Syndrome. Monica and I have spent a lot of time thinking about Sanguine, our family and our future. We are good with it. We believe that we have been preparing for her for a long time. We didn’t know what we were doing, but the choices and ideas that have taken hold in our lives over the past 15 or so years have made us ready to make sense of this situation we find ourselves in now.

Way back in my college days I realized how much fun I had in the rain. When other people were praising the sun, I was riding my bike in the rain and really connecting with God and myself. I came to the realization that I loved rainy days — in part because they made my soul sing, but also because they symbolized the notion of appreciating something more, that others could not see. Monica understood me and we got married. Together we talked and talked about the significance of loving something that most people didn’t appreciate, then in 2001 we named our first child Rainy Day. It is interesting to me now that we chose to impart our ideals in our child’s name. Then our second baby was on the way, we had two names picked out, Torrent Gray if the baby was a boy or Sanguine Sky if he would have been a she. Our thought for Torrent was the same — I had experienced these fast, icy, gray rivers in Alaska, and grew to love them. Most people, thank goodness not all, would avoid them at all cost, but I, as a hellbiker, found them to be the defining feature that allowed me to go beyond the ordinary and experience the absolute beauty of deep Alaska. Torrent gray rivers helped me become a better person.

Now with Rainy and Torrent, Monica and I felt our family needed something more. In January this year we found out that we were expecting again. We thought that three would be enough. Three would be like the three musketeers, always together, all for one and one for all. Then in June we got the biggest shock of our lives. Twins, this was more than we bargained for, twins!

Three weeks ago Monica delivered our two newest additions. Dare September came first. Dare, like I dare you to have one more. A new challenge. We have always been excited by new challenges, and now with two babies and two bigger ones we will surely be challenged. Finally we got our little Sanguine Sky. She was the last one to arrive. Sanguine, the optimistic and hopeful vision. Monica and I decided on this name for a girl way back in 2003. Sanguine, the color of blood, is also the sense of good health, long thought to be attributed to good blood flow. The day after she was born our pediatrician thought she saw the features of Down’s in Sanguine and we elected to have her blood sent off to be tested. All kinds of thoughts went through our heads. We did not have any experience with Down’s Syndrome. We talked and prayed. Our prayer was to understand God’s plan. We asked for strength and wisdom. We realize that Sanguine is our rainy day, our torrent gray river. We have been preparing for this for a long time. We know that we will find in Sanguine something special. Monica and I feel our family will work as a well oiled machine to support each other. We will try to give our kids all the confidence they will need to achieve their dreams. We believe we will be better and be stronger because of our youngest girl.

Sanguine is growing already. No other related health issues are presenting themselves yet. She is scheduled to have a heart EKG this week. Stay tuned.